Something to say
by kerryblaze
Summary: Harry's angry. Ron's got something to say. This is a GEN piece set in the summer after OotP. It could be preslash... if that's how you want to see it. wink


**_FLUFF ALERT! _**

**_Something to say_**

Pacing back and forth in the kitchen at 12 Grimmauld Place was not going to solve Ron Weasley's problem and he certainly didn't need Hermione to keep reminding him of that fact.

"Ronald, you're driving me mad. Please, stop pacing like a caged animal!"

"Bugger off! I'm trying to calm down."

"Oh, that's what you are trying to do," she said sarcastically.

"Yes, because if I don't keep moving, I am going to go upstairs and bludgeon that right bloody bastard!"

Ron continued to pace while clenching and unclenching his fists as Hermione stared at him, her eyes condemning him for being so callous towards Harry and his feelings.

"You'll do no such thing," she retorted bluntly. "Harry needs us to be understanding of his situation."

"I-bloody-well-do-understand! Sirius is dead, but that is no reason to treat me like… well, like he treats Malfoy!"

Ron's face had turned a deep shade of purple and he gulped down puffs of air.

"You just got here, Hermione! You haven't had to put up with him for the last two weeks!"

"Talk to him," Hermione said, her voice taking on a much kinder tone.

"That's what got me in this state! I did try to talk to him. Mum thought I might be able to get him to open up."

"And what did you say?" she asked as if she already knew what he said was the wrong thing and started the whole mess.

"I just said that I thought he should talk to someone," Ron said apprehensively.

"That was it?" asked Hermione.

"No… I said that I understood what he was going through. Don't say it!" Ron said putting his hand up. "I know. It was a daft thing to say. It's not what I meant, but I couldn't… I didn't… know how to say what I really meant."

"And what was that?"

"Never mind," he mumbled.

Ron's rage simmered slightly and he stopped pacing, put his hands on the table, and shook his head.

"What did he say?'

"He got really angry. Told me that I could never possibly know what he was going through and then threw me out of the room."

"That is all he said to make you this upset?"

"I'm not upset," he yelled. "I'm angry."

Hermione rolled her eyes and then stared at him waiting for a response to her question.

The kitchen chair screeched across the floor when Ron pulled it out and flipped it around, so he could sit on it, straddling the back of the chair with his long legs. He ran his fingers through his fiery red hair and was startled by the unfamiliarity of it. A few days before, his mother had taken him by force, and butchered his long shaggy, hair and he hated the feel of the shorter locks.

"He was rambling on about a lot of things. Implied that I let him down that night. Told me that even Neville put up a better fight."

"Oh, Ron," she said, stood up to move closer to him, and put a hand on his shoulder.

"He doesn't mean it. He's hurting and looking for someone to take it out on."

"And naturally that person is me!"

"Harry doesn't have it easy. You know that," she said, sitting in the chair nearest Ron, and taking his hand.

"Of course, I know that! I hate that all of these horrible things happen to him. He just about got himself together after Cedric's death and now Sirius. I'm sure going back to those horrible Muggles so soon after didn't help. And to make matters worse, he…"

"HE WHAT!"

Hermione and Ron jumped up from their seats at the sound of Harry's voice.

Harry was standing in the doorway of the kitchen glaring at Ron. Hermione was taken aback at the anger in Harry's face.

"Harry, he was only…"

"Only what? Talking about how horrible my life is! What Ron is it so bad I should say - kill myself?"

"Harry! I never… that's not what I …"

"Right, Weasley. I bet you're not so jealous of me now!" Harry shouted at him, turned on his heels, and fled.

Ron's face contorted to match the rage that swelled up inside of him. Hermione reached out to him as he fled past her, but her fingers only brushed up against his forearm.

The whole house shook as Ron bounded up the stairs two at a time after Harry. Mrs. Black howled from her portrait. Remus turned over in his bed and pulled a pillow over his head. Hermione put her face in her hands and sighed.

Mrs. Weasley entered the house as Harry roared from inside his room, "Sod off, Ron! Don't come in here!"

"What is Merlin's name is going on up there?" Mrs. Weasley voice shrieked from the first floor. "I'm gone fifteen minutes and the whole house is in an uproar!"

"Mrs. Weasley," Hermione said, approaching the woman cautiously. "Harry and Ron got into a row. I think they need to work this out. Like boys."

"Oh, dear," Mrs. Weasley groaned, knowing all too well how boys worked out their problems.

Ron jiggled the handle first, tried a spell next, and then decided to break down the door.

After two hits to the door with his shoulder, Ron and the door tumbled into the room.

"GET THE HELL OUT!"

"No! You're going to be quiet and listen to me! I have something to say!"

"I don't want to hear it!" Harry said, scowling at Ron.

"Reparo!" Ron said and the door flew back on its hinges.

"You're going to have to physically remove me from this room," Ron informed him, arms folded across his chest, and a determined look on his face.

"If that's the way you want it!" Harry snapped, but did nothing but stand there and glower at Ron.

Ron refused to break his stare and eventually Harry threw up his hands in the air and muttered something that sounded like _'stubborn arsehole.'_

Ron's anger abated somewhat as he looked at Harry.

Hidden behind Harry's angry face, was the face of a broken young man. Grayish half moons flanked his bottom eyelids, he looked thinner than ever, and his strands of hair were missing their usual silvery highlights.

"What did you mean by that?" asked Ron.

"By what?"

"What you said?"

"I said a lot of things," Harry answered and Ron detected a twinge of regret in Ron's voice.

"The last thing you said about me being jealous."

"Oh," Harry said, cramming his hands in his pocket and staring at his feet.

Ron was flabbergasted at how quickly Harry could go from raging lunatic to insecure schoolboy.

"I'm not jealous of you, Harry. I've never been jealous of you. Never!" Ron said fiercely.

"Never?" Harry said, with a chuckle in his voice.

"That's right – Never!" Ron said, emphasizing the word _never_ by pointing his finger at Harry.

"Well, may be not now, but you were. When you thought I was going to have great fame and fortune as the Triwizard champion!" Harry said scornfully.

"W-w-hat?" Ron said, stunned.

Harry sighed and sat down on the bed. As angry as he had been, the hurt look in Ron's eyes caused his chest to tighten.

"Sorry," Harry said. "Forget it. I didn't mean it." He waved his hand in the air as if brushing away invisible cobwebs.

"Yes, you did," Ron said pointedly.

"Please, I really want to be left alone."

"I'm not leaving," Ron said firmly.

Ron joined him on the bed, his body tense, waiting for Harry to lash out at him again.

"I think… I… um… need to explain."

"No, you don't," Harry said through gritted teeth.

"I think I do. Obviously, you don't understand…"

Harry jumped up the bed, but Ron moved quickly, and captured Harry's forearm in his hand. It had been two years, since he acted like a prat when Harry's name was pulled from the Goblet, and he was too young and embarrassed then to explain his actions, but he wasn't going to let this opportunity pass.

"I wasn't jealous," Ron said, softly and slowly.

Harry didn't respond, but he didn't move either.

"I was hurt," Ron said and let out a heavy breath. "I thought you went ahead and put your name in the cup without me."

"Huh?" Harry said, flopping back down on the bed.

"I know you have other things on your mind, but you brought it up… and I… needed to let you know that," Ron said, vaguely aware that his hand was still on Harry's arm and Harry was staring at his profile.

"I don't understand," Harry said.

"At first, I thought you put your name in without me, and I was hurt. You know, because you didn't want to do it with me. I thought maybe you thought I wasn't good enough to be entered. I wasn't jealous, because you were getting the attention. You always got that… and I never… I still don't care about that."

"But, you should've known me better than that. I would've told you if I was going to do it. I would've brought you with me… I…" Harry's voice trailed off.

Harry cleared his throat and continued, "You had to know after the first night that I didn't put my name into the cup."

"Yeah, well… I didn't say I wasn't acting like a wanker. I said I wasn't jealous. When you got angry with me, I was… hurt… that you didn't understand what I was angry about."

"I never thought you were jealous. Not at first. Hermione was the one that said it and I guess it made sense," Harry said and shrugged his shoulders.

Ron shifted on the bed, so he was facing Harry. "I could never be jealous of you," he said seriously.

"That's right, because my life is so horrible. Who would want to be me?" Harry said glumly.

"No, because people only get jealous over good things, right? And you're my best mate, how could I be jealous when good things happen to you. I only want good things to happen to you," Ron said quickly, without taking a breath, causing all of the words to run together.

Ron didn't understand why his words seemed to make Harry want to shrink into himself.

"Harry…" Ron whispered, putting his hand on Harry's shoulder.

Harry's stomach lurched when Ron pressed his warm fingers into Harry's shoulder.

Each time he was separated from his friends for long periods, his insecurities took a hold of him and convinced him that none of it was real. A voice in his head, that sounded a mix of Uncle Vernon and Snape, told him that they would grow tired of him and the gloom that seemed to follow him. Over and over, he heard the voice tell him that they didn't want to be his friends anymore and that they wished they had never met him, but the sincerity in Ron's voice was louder than the drone of his insecurities and it made Harry feel sad that he could doubt his friend's loyalty.

After a long silence, Harry whispered, "I don't deserve you."

"Don't say that. I'm nothing special. I just want to be your friend," Ron said, squeezing Harry's shoulder again, feeling Harry's muscles recoil from his touch.

"I-I didn't mean what I said before. I'm sorry. It's not you that I'm angry with."

"I know," said Ron. "Harry, I…"

"You don't have to say anything, Ron. I know."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

Ron didn't know what to say next, so he thought of his Mum and what she does to make people feel better. "Want to go downstairs and I'll make you something to eat. There are some leftovers from dinner that I could heat up?"

Harry shook his head. "I'd rather we just stayed up here for a while."

Ron felt warm feelings travel through his body when Harry said '_we_," and he smiled slightly.

"Sure, Harry. Whatever you need," he said and then acting out of instinct, he pulled Harry's head onto his shoulder, slid his arm around him, and rested his cheek on the soft raven hair.

Even though a few moments before Harry had said he knew how Ron felt, he didn't really, but now he did.

"You are special, Ron."

"Nah, I'm just…"

"Yeah, you are. Very special."

**FIN**

**A/N:** I wrote this in response to someone that insisted Ron was always jealous of Harry, but when pressed could only give the one example of Ron's '_jealousy'_ in GoF.

I never thought Ron was jealous of Harry in GoF and I don't think JKR intended to be that way even if Hermione said so. I could quote numerous passages that show what I think proves that, but I think the first thing that Ron says to Harry when they discuss the situation that same night is enough_. "Oh right," said Ron. "I thought you might've told me if it was the cloak... because it would've covered both of us, wouldn't it? But you found another way, did you?"_


End file.
